why did I go see the dark knight tonight?  was it any good?  well- gary oldman was in it.  maybe I'll fall asleep to rosencrantz and gildernstern are dead.   why did I eat that icky stuff from the concession stand?  is this the best photograph I took all week?  how could I shoot a whole entire card worth of landscapes on iso 1600?  why didn't I remember to change the iso?  how can I make this old trailer more like an earthship?  when will those bug bites stop itching?  what were those birds kind of like terns, ground nesting and black and white that were flying around and around the owl while the stars came out the other night?  and what was that sound kind of like a cross between a grunt and a bark, but really loud and coming from several directions, but only at dusk.  was it really elk?  I think it was.  but I'm not 100 % sure.  what will I dream tonight?  do affirmations really work and if so, what do I really, really, really want to say to myself?  how did I fall so head over heels in love with the world?  how can anyone not be?  will adam give me a hug if I go to bed right this minute or is he already sleeping?  I'm going to find out. 

my thoughts are kind of like wispy clouds.  they float off quickly, but not to worry, there are plenty more right around the corner and sometimes they even seem to form a pattern.  :-)

I don't know.  but I do believe in humans and I do believe in consciousness and I do believe in evolution, but I don't know if they add up to evolution of human consciousness.

but I do believe in love.  and loving.  and smiling.  and dancing.  and singing.  those things might be evolutions in human consciousness, except I think we humans have been doing those things for a very long time already.  hmmm.  I still don't know the answer to the question. 

I "captured" this image with my phone while on a gallery walk with Sarah.  It "captured" my heart.

I like Jeannie's answer;  JOY.  yes.  yes.  it's true. 

reason #2 for riding my bike home from work:  I feel joyful, energetic, happy, peaceful, while riding my bike. 

excuse:  but it might rain today.  the clouds are looming.  the rain looks imminent.

elegant solution?:  I'm not made of sugar (really, I'm not), I won't melt.  I did ride my bike home.  It did rain.  It felt wonderful.  elegant solution(!): get wet!  don't just get wet.  ENJOY getting wet. 

:-)

this photo is from my camera phone-- 3 and a half miles from work, 14 miles from home.  it's right next to the bike path.  I stopped and put some water on my head when I was feeling hot. 

How can we sustain connection in difficult times? What do we need to remember? How do you stay connected when you're feeling pressured or frustrated?

When I feel frustrated or pressured; when times are difficult and I can't remember my highest ideals that I'd like to fuel my behavior; that's when I need to take a time out to regroup.

Sometimes it's better to take some quiet time for oneself, to disconnect, before reconnecting. 

You know how they say you should unplug electrical devices during an electrical storm?  You're supposed to unplug them, disconnect them, from the electrical outlet to protect their inner parts. 

When I'm stormy and turbulent I find it's best to disconnect myself.  Different amounts of time do the trick in different situations.  Finding a quiet space inside or outside, inside AND outside, is the best thing for me to do.  Yoga helps me do this.  Meditation helps me do this.  Going for a walk helps me do this.  Sometimes reading a book or taking a nap helps me do this.  Sometimes connecting with a friend can help too, but sometimes it might be better for me to ride out my own storms and not send all that energy to interact with the inner parts of others. 

I don't think we need to strive to stay connected.  Connections maybe should be allowed to wax and wane naturally, at some times stronger than at others.

I like to be open to discovering unexpected connections.

When I think of connections from an internet or phone perspective I think....  I like that I can choose who to be connected to and when.  I go to sites that add to my experience of life and avoid sites that leave me feeling........ saddened.  I dial the numbers of folks who I choose to connect with and often don't answer the phone if it's not the best time for me to talk.  But then again, I sometimes answer the phone at strange hours because I wonder if it isn't someone who really needs to connect and I always tell my friends and family to call at ANY time of day or night if they really need something.  They know I won't answer if I'm in a yoga class or busy with an emergency at work or if I am so much in need of a good sleep that I turn off the phone. 

So, I like to be open to people trying to connect with me and I do like to connect with others, but I don't worship at the alter of connection for it's own sake. 

Sometimes solitude is sweeter and leads to another kind of connection. 

perspective

hearts

I'm thirsty for some fresh clean water and an uncliched perspective. 

http://oneminuteshift.com/videos/were_ready

I dreamt I was pregnant and visiting some friends and relatives in Scandinavia to celebrate and Adam was with me and everyone was very shiny and happy because I was pregnant.  We had to fly home soon so I could have the baby at home, but I was procrastinating and disorganized and so we missed our flight and we were stuck in Norway.  Then I realized that my stomach was much too small to be so far along in a pregnancy.  I was bereft and told Adam that I must not be really pregnant after all, it must've been a mistake or wishful thinking.  But we were staying at an artists collective and one of the girls there was a little bit psychic and she put her hands on my tummy and her face lit up and she said, it's not one baby, it's three.  And everyone was overjoyed and began to treat me as if I was very special indeed.  Adam was extra protective and always had an arm around me.  Everyone gave me the best, most delighted and delightful hugs whenever we met.  Another girl at the artists collective brought me three giant bouquets of flowers that had been dyed, stems and all, an eggshell blue, one for each baby which we somehow knew were all girls(?!).  I was worried about the enviromental goodness of the dye on the flowers, but I decided not to make an issue and just be pleased about the gift.  Adam & I were out of money and Adam couldn't get us a flight home and so we were broke and pregnant in a foreign country, but we wanted for nothing and had a simple, rich life filled with the most wonderful, loving family and friends.  Adam was a social worker who specialized in helping people with addictions to alcohol & crystal meth & heroine.  He kept doing his work but wasn't getting paid anything, but we were well taken care of.  I loved that everyone, including Adam was always touching my belly lovingly.  Oh yes and Adam was a psychic too and kept telling me which of the people around us were also psychic.   It was almost all of them.  I wasn't, but I didn't mind.  It gave me the privileges and adoration of a child in an adult world.(?!)

I'm awake now and life is still good, but I miss those babies that I was carrying and Adam says I better not get pregnant.  What he doesn't understand is that it was a metaphorical pregnancy & of course I am already and truly pregnant with three individual projects all at the same time.  :-) 

reason #1 to consider doing what you love (in my case, be a photographer) full time:  it'll be fun!  it'll be fabulous!  you'll laugh!  you'll cry!  you'll cus!  you'll giggle!  (oops- sorry that's more than one reason.)

excuse #1 for not doing it:  it'll be scary.  I won't get a regular paycheck.  I might not be good enough.  it's not "important and prestigious" (to be a wedding photographer).  it's not really a save the world profession.  I'm really good at what I already do.  I'm important and necessary at what I already do.  the world is getting by fine without me doing those other things that I really like doing.  maybe it won't really be fun after all.  (whoa, yes I see-- that's more than one excuse.)

elegant solution:  do it anyway.  just do it.  if you want to be a writer, write.  if you want to be a wedding photographer, photograph weddings.  if you want to be a landscape photographer, photograph landscapes.  do it because you love to.  do it becase it makes you smile.  do it because it makes you laugh.  do it because it makes you cry.  keep doing it even if you cus or giggle.  keep doing it even if you don't make any money at first.  do it if you love to.  feel the fear and do it anyway.  just keep doing it.  when people ask you what you do for a living say, "I'm a writer."  "I'm a photographer."   "I'm a singer."  "I'm a dancer."  even if it feels like a tall tale, say it.  the dissonance you create in yourself by telling what feels like a tall tale will motivate you to make it a true tale. 

"I'm a coach."  "I'm a spanish translator."  "I'm an editor for a fabulous magazine."  "I'm a teacher of many kinds of yoga and meditation."  "I'm a used bookstore and green goods shopkeeper." 

and me, "I'm a photographer and a motivational writer."

oh yeah-- art--- it's necessary.  it's as necessary as air to me.  life is art.  art is life.  everywhere I look I see it.  in the galleries and museums, yes, and also in the smile of a friend, in the way a man in the coffeshop holds his head, the way a salad is arranged on the plate, the way a woman pronounces the word wobbly.  what do I do for a living?  "I'm an artist."  "I'm a homemaker."  "I'm a what do they call those people who work at think tanks and just think of good ideas?  I'm one of those."  :-)  and oh yeah, "I'm a comedienne."  hee hee.