This question would be very hard for me if I hadn't just spent a month trying to write an "affirmation script" to be recorded as a subliminal message to myself.  :-) 

A month ago I decided to go ahead and buy the next deeper level of Holosync since I have mostly really enjoyed the first level and whether it's the placebo affect or not, I seem to have derived some benefits from using it almost daily.  With the next deeper level you have the opportunity to record 5 minutes of self-talk which will be looped and played under the sounds of rain and bells.  So I asked myself daily for a month, what do you really want to say to yourself?  What do you really want to believe?  What seems right and important?   What are your biggest dreams and ideals?  It has been a big challenge to come up with these answers and fit them into a script that I could read out loud in 5 minutes.  This is what I will hear almost everyday for the next year or so for at least 30 minutes, in my own voice and subliminally, no less:

The reason that I live and breathe is love. 

I am happy and grateful for this moment.  This moment is my life.

I breathe deeply and live life fully.  With each inhale I accept all gifts and with each exhale I give all that I have.
 

I embrace every moment of this magical life with love, imagination and gratitude. 

I am intelligent and interested in everything.  I am fascinated by people, by life, by the earth and all it's creatures, by the universe -- the multi-verses. 

I love to listen.  I love to see.  I love to taste, smell, feel and touch.  I love to sing and to dance.  I love to make people laugh and smile.  I radiate warmth and friendship to all.  I love myself and others unconditionally and I nurture myself and others in every way. My relationships are passionate, exciting, and fun, based on integrity and respect. I communicate with openness and integrity at all times. I relate easily to people in all kinds of situations. I am comfortable and confident in all my relationships. I constantly notice positive traits about my lover, my friends, my family members, my co-workers; everyone. 


 

My dreams are big and I follow them enthusiastically, exuberantly and joyfully.  I have within me the imagination, intelligence, strength, patience, and passion to do anything and everything that I wish. 

I can see and feel a whole, healthy planet, in balance.  I can see and feel the whole of humanity in love with one another, working playfully, joyfully and passionately for the good of each other and the whole planet.  I can see, feel, hear, taste and smell a heaven on earth.  It feels perfect.  I am so thankful to be alive at this time.  I am so grateful for the unlimited resources available to me and through me. 

I give and I receive.  I love and I receive love.  I listen and I am heard.  I share and the world shares with me. 

What I sow I reap and I sow love and peace and joy everyday.

I have a captivating style that is all my own. I contribute a unique magic to the world and it comes back to me a thousand fold. 

I live in my strength and lustre.  I am beautiful inside and out.  I am unlimited.  I am valuable.

I love the simple pleasures in life - the smile of a child, a laugh of delight, walking my dogs around a quiet morning or lazy evening neighborhood, cutting the grass, tending a garden, enjoying a sunset, a sunrise or a moonlit night in the presence of my love. 

I learn and teach effortlessly; languages, yoga, dance, song, science, math, history, photography, peacemaking, everything.  I am a joyful lifelong learner and generous teacher.  I teach by example.  I speak my truth and walk my talk.  I love sharing my successes with others and seeing them succeed.  I see every challenge as an opportunity. 

My body, mind and soul grow healthier and stronger each day.  My eyes see more clearly each day.  My ears hear more clearly each day.  Every cell in my body radiates perfect health.  I find time to enjoy exercise everyday; yoga or walking, biking, hiking or dancing and, yes - of course!, sensual lovemaking.  My body loves to move and stretch and play and I love my body.  My body is strong, supple, slender, and beautiful; radiating health.  My skin glows. I am at my perfect weight, healthy in every way.  I respect my body and the resources of Mother Earth by eating only those foods that I need to maintain perfect health and vitality.  Everything that I eat is part of the whole web of life.  I am deeply grateful for the nourishment and life that I receive from each bite of food, each sip of water and each breath of air that fills my lungs.  Every cell in my body works together in perfect harmony to create perfect health just as every organism on Earth can work together in perfect harmony to create a paradise.  

I sleep just enough every night and awaken feeling wonderful and alive.  I live every day with power and passion. I feel strong and excited.  I feel tremendous confidence that I can do anything.  I contribute to the world in a meaningful way and am paid back a thousand- fold. I manage my money, time and other resources wisely.  I willingly jump at the opportunity to serve others.  It is fun and easy to take action toward my goals. I can be, do and have everything I want.   The more I act, the more I succeed.  I am deeply grateful for the freedom to act and move toward my goals.  My capabilities and potential are unlimited.  I am expressing my potential more and more each day.  I give myself permission to have what I want.  I honor myself and others at all times.  I am open to opportunities.  I am willing to accept the best life has to offer with an attitude of gratitude.  I believe in unlimited possibilities.  All my needs, desires, and goals are met instantaneously for I am one with everything.

When I feel deprived of something I remember that to give is to receive.  I am always giving and always receiving.  I am always loving and always receiving love in return.  I am always teaching and always learning.  I love the adventure of learning.  I grow everyday.  I embrace change.  I overcome challenges.  I care and I dare.  I know life is beautiful.   I find joy in loving and beauty in giving. 

Everyday I explore, dream & discover. 

I am a living sign of love that can bridge all divisions and heal all wounds. 

I am so grateful that my senses are wide awake to the wild beauty and abundance of this life.  

by the way each of you who read and comment on this blog and whose blogs I read and comment on have influenced the writing of this in one way or another, so thank you all for being a part of the web that is this life.  :-)

I heard several talks about various subjects this week -- 1st, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, then Melissa Block & Stefan Fatsis, then Madeleine Albright, then the prosecutor at court -- my 16 year old son was arrested for fighting and disorderly conduct last month and yesterday was his day in court.  Each and every one of those persons, including the prosecutor advocated Dialogue.  HH the Dalai Lama said he would like this to be the Century of Dialogue.  Stefan Fatsis, the sports writer, said "you just have to quit pretending that there is an us and a them and sit down and talk".  Madeleine Albright, the former Secretary of State of the U.S. during the Clinton years said, you have to talk to your enemies.  And the prosecutor told my son that he had a responsibility to avoid the fight, to walk away or to find a way to make peace.  (He also gave him a deferred sentence -- a vote of confidence that he can turn things around and learn from this experience.) 

I think that's what needs to happen for all of us.  We have to remember that the other, the negative person, is just like us.  We have to step away from fear of the other and talk and then we will find the humanity in the other person. 

For me this week -- interacting with my son is my lesson in foreign policy.  Ms. Albright also said, foreign relations really boils down to getting another country to do what you want them to and then she listed the tools that diplomats use to do that.  I think it is imperative for me to deal with my "negative" teen in a diplomatic way.  I need to remember that he needs positive reinforcement for his positive behaviors as well as to learn new skills for his own "foreign relations" with people who he perceives as negative. 

I think poetry helps.  and art.  and yoga.  and sleep.  and dreams.  and hugs.  and kisses.  and yawns. 

http://synonymforlight.gaia.com/blog/2007/4/whats_your_favorite_poem_why

I think the sky helps.  and rain.  and sunshine.

curiosity may have killed the cat, but it keeps this girl alive.  and smiling. 

I think expansion is best when balanced by contraction -- like breathing -- inhale (expand lungs) exhale (contract lungs).  like sleeping is nicely balanced by waking.

an empty space can be an invitation.  a goodbye can be a hello too. 

I don't know if I allow for expansion or if if simply happens with or without my permission and I just have a choice of acceptance or resistance.  :-)

Why are you called to these sorts of questions (and reflections)? What do they bring to your life? Do you answer them before or after reading the responses of others?


Sometimes I've already mentally written something I'd like to share, but before posting, I check to see what the QaR is that day and sometimes it meshes. 

Sometimes I read the QaR and an answer jumps into my head and I post it right away.

Sometimes I am reading a friend's blog and see that they've answered a QaR and I comment on their answer and that leads me to more thoughts on the matter.

Sometimes I just read others' answers and don't post one myself.

Sometimes I read all the answers and then post my own. 

Sometimes I post my own answer and then read all the other answers. 

Sometimes I don't answer the question at all. 

Sometimes I read the question and go out with my camera for a walk and see if the answer will be found in a photograph.

Sometimes the question reminds me of a photograph from long ago that I think is perfect for this question.  (as in this one -- farland and sarah conversing and walking, me photographing them.)

I think I go to see the questions because I like my brain to have rich and stimulating experiences and the QaR is often part of that. 

I like to wonder / wander and the questions sometimes give me a direction to begin my wander/wondering. 

I like to converse and the answers are often the beginning of wonderful conversations. 

yoga

heart

soul

deepening

opening

silence

play

strength

softness

consciousness

intention

celebration

web of causation

contribution

price of innocence=impotence

source of potency=responsibility

insight

pivotal

acceptance

breath

value

rarity

truth

harmony

precise

art

destroy to create

sophistication

balance

ease

interconnection

encouragement

courage

play

truth

power

wisdom

humility

choice

flow

cultivation

practice

observation

surrender

gentle release

sensation

revelation

eternal

momentary

introspection

nourishment

shape

love

challenge

collective peace

sense

joy

appreciation

motion

stillness

shiva - dance destruction paradoxical joy

marriage

experience

philosophy

impermanence

quiet

exuberance

delicate

profound

dawn

dusk

work

summer

rain

intricacy

simplicity

freedom

tranquility

ideal

journey

promise

consideration

inspiration

comfort

barefeet

metaphor

vibrancy

reconciliation

warmth

gathering

lovingkindness

mindfulness

friendship

puppies

hugs

eat, drink, be merry.  walk, talk, play.  do yoga.  lots of things I enjoy doing with others and lots of those things I also like doing alone.  hmmmm. 

yoga seems to be something that is done both ways in equal measure.  I am completely separate and completely part of something bigger than myself when I am in yoga class. 

it's not too much of a stretch to direct you all to see gerry's last four blog entries about his first through 4th bikram yoga classes.  I love his way of sharing his experiences so here's a link to his blog about his first class.  and here's one about his 2nd class.  and 3rd.  and 4th.  I'm linking you to those because of something else I like to do with others-- belly laugh.  funny and fun and serious stuff! 

:-) 

T Boone Pickens speaks at the Aspen Insitute.   Mr. Pickens is a Texas oilman, a billionaire who contributed quite a large sum to help swiftboat John Kerry in a past election and who now is touting a plan to reduce U.S. dependence on foreign oil using wind energy and natural gas.  He's recently met with John McCain and Barack Obama, according to the article.   

I'm not entirely sure what to make of Mr. PIckens, but his plan (www.pickensplan.com) does seem to make some sense and it makes me feel hopeful in a cautious kind of way.

Foreign oil is a weird term to me.  Also - living in Western Colorado which is "rich" in natural gas -- I'd hate to see more and more gas drilling at the expense of wildlife and wild, undisturbed places. 

Jordan and I went to see Shawn Mullins play his music last Wednesday night in Aspen.  It was a brilliant show.  Shawn is a wonderful story teller and a warm and genuine presence.  I can't remember when I've enjoyed a show as much, though Rufus Wainwright came close.  Shawn is one of those singers who is even better live than he is on his recordings.  I am so glad Jordan got to go with me to this show.  I think he enjoyed it as much as I did.  He grew up on this music and he loved Shawn's stories of where the songs came from as much as I did. 

I remember the first time I heard this song.....  lullaby



I was driving home from work after a graveyard shift.  Jordan was young.  I felt lonely and raw and inadequate in so many ways, not least of which was in parenting ability.  I heard the words "everything is gonna be alright, rockabye" on the radio and such a gorgeous voice singing them.  It was like a musical hug, a melodic reassurance.  A dam of long held in check emotion broke inside of me.  I started crying uncontrollably.  I had to pull the car over.  I went out and bought Shawn's CD Soul's Core soon afterward and I have been enjoying this music that touches a cord in me for all the years since.  Lots of his songs make me cry, when I need to. 

At my job at 9-1-1 we are never, ever allowed to say to a caller that "everything is going to be alright."  Never.  Ever.  We are allowed to say that help is on the way.  But not that it's going to be alright.  We are not allowed to make promises that we can't keep. 

I'm so glad that there are musicians in the world and not just emergency operators and medics and doctors.  I'm so glad that someone can say to us, really, everything is going to be alright and that we are born to shimmer and shine and radiate, to live, to love, to never hate. 
Sometimes we really need to hear it. 

Thanks Shawn. 

Peridot-- he's coming to Portland soon according to the tour schedule on his myspace page.  I can't recommend going to see him perform enough. 

scenes

stratagems

world

moments

imagination

changed

illusions

illustrating

happiness

mind

night

life

soul

circus

expresses

painted

devour

symbolic

floated

shores

sang

songs

flew

promising

swirl

strange

surprise

silent

reading Walden

obscene scene

trees

mysteries

surrealist

realist

idealist

cobalt

meadows

madness

floating

eternity

glass castle

coney island of the mind

into the night life

blank papers

whisper wild light

the things that are called favorite to me are definitely not call DIStractions.  I think they are attractions. 

distraction
attraction

interest
unrest
rest

hmmm.

and I absolutely can't pick a favorite interest or attraction. 

stories.
poems.
music.
skies.
people.
songs.
the whole world.

oh I could go on for too long. 







oh this is just getting silly now-- but one thing leads to another....

here's a friend that I visit during my break on some night shifts.   I don't know her name or creator's name, but I love her just the same.  :-)   she currently lives at the e.s.lawerence gallery in aspen, colorado.  I live just down the road and work just around the corner. 

I walked down the midnight street thinking late and early and right on time thoughts. 

when I saw the sign in the window, advertising a soap with a name like a mixed drink in a night club with a mirror ball hanging above the dance floor, I thought of you, adam.




it was hard to juggle my coffee cup and books and pencils and take a photo with my phone but I was able and then i realized the galleries were just upstairs.  the ones I had gone to with sarah last month and we had promised to do a gallery walk together again soon, maybe once a month.  but sarah is surely asleep right now, just as you are, and the galleries are closed, locked up tight, but the lights are still on and art is my only companion tonight. 




I don't know the names of the artists or the art, so I make up my own.




it's so intimate, even with the glass between us....





it's a little like looking into a mirror that reflects more, a kaleidoscope of possible selves....





I once had a kitchen painted purple and red, but not with horses, though there was a johnny cash poster, did he ever ride horses?  or was it only trains?  he has a song about the apocalypse with a line about a horse.  but i think that was actually a quote from the bible.  yes.  a dark horse?  a white horse?  I wonder if the apocalypse will have lots of purple and red.  I do like purple and red on large canvas. 





maybe this one is about the possibilities inherent in chain link fences?  it's like the window I looked through to see her/me wearing blue in the rain.





aha, levitating rocks, this I can understand and appreciate.  do you remember the levitating rocks signs in the canadian rockies anna, the winter of the ice storms in the pacific northwest?  I'll never forget that road trip.  was that the last time we spent more than a couple of hours together?  I wonder where you are anna.  I hope you are in a place of such possibilty that rocks can levitate. 





I think I'll sit down at this table and write and read awhile and drink my coffee, it's not so cold yet.




after awhile I'm starting to feel the cool of the night on my skin more insistently.  walking will warm me.  goodnight galleries.




passing the ralph lauren store across from the divey bar I just have to wonder, when did manikins get nipples?   I don't object, but....  when? 




it's as if I haven't left the galleries. it's another kind of art. I used to resent this kind that was trying to sell me something, maybe that was because I was susceptible to the suggestion that I wasn't already complete.  but now i look at everything and I don't resent it.  it doesn't make me want to buy anything.  it doesn't make me want to be skinnier or taller or paler or nipplier.   it's just a still life behind glass.  someone was the artist who put together this scene/wistful story.  i wonder what that person's life is like, but I don't want to have that life. not right now.  maybe later.  :-)




across from the e.s. lawrence gallery there is a trio of folks at the top of the stairs that go down to a bar/club.  I compliment the girl's shoes as I pass and one of the guys asks where I am going.  "to work," I say and keep strolling along.  but I won't call it a night without a visit to my old friend who I call "the swinger" for lack of a better term.  i wonder about the name of her creator and what her creator calls her.  I've been wondering for a couple of years now, it seems.  has she been there so long?  why doesn't anyone ever take her home?  I would.  would she like it in the trailer park?   she makes me want to fly.  sometimes I go to the swings in the park on summertime night breaks too. 




this reminds me of the kris cox piece......




no flash available, so one way becomes one, darkly, quietly. 



the night goes quickly and the morning comes beautifully awake as my shift ends and I eat breakfast with you adam and you go to work and I come home to sleep but the neighbors are mowing the lawns and the sun is bright and I have to tell a nighttime story, a bedtime story and now it's told and I'll go to sleep, perchance to dream. 

night night all my loves.  you ones. 

in this very moment I am so tickled that this is the question!!!!   and the answer is stories:  storytelling and storyhearing and storyfinding and storymaking out of things we found in store windows and elsewhere, here. 

store
story
star
starry
stare
storehouse
story house
three story house (is that where three people live their each own stories?) 
stair

it was a dark and stormy night.........




no, no, let's start again.  

store
storm
story
stormy
start
star
tart
mart
smart
art

which brings us back to doe, doe, doe, doe   do-do    no..........

the stars were shining brightly as we began our journey.  little did we know what the night held in store for us, but we were optimistic and inquisitive.


 

hhhmmmm.   maybe that's not right quite either.   let's start again one more time.......   thank you tara for those words, anticipation & trepidation.  now here goes...


we began the migration with anticipation & trepidation...........







as well as a sense of solidarity.   we hummed an ancient flying tune as we floated together into the unknown.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

from here I want to play a game with my gaia friends.  who will be tell the next part of the story?  I'll post a few more photographs here from tonight's midnight perambulation and some words collected this evening and night as well.  who will help me make the story?  

tara?
tsuya?
tink?
dlil?
fish?
maze?
jon?
willow?
peri?
seymour
dew drops?
or who haven't I thought of yet? 

here are some images to work with.......

dawn's flickr storymaking set, photos from the midnight perambulations

oh and words.......

I bet you all have plenty of your own and here's some more I like tonight

creation
trumpets
pipers
shalom
black & blue berries
calling
crying
flying
spying
open door
follow up
singing long
pajamas
socks
illustrious
industrious
hand me down diamonds
flight plans
butterflies
radical reality
full extent
fell
left
lollygag

oh yes-- to continue the story -- give your chapter a number in a comment below with a link to you blog where you will use however many words and pictures from ANY source to create your chapter.  then the next person will come here read this.......  

and oh yes -- this has been "chapter 11" of "the story of the perambulators"  (see tags and please tag your chapters too!! so we can find them easily later).

if you want to use any of the photos from the flickr storymaking set just click on "all sizes" in flickr above that photo and then choose the url for the photo and you know the rest, or if you don't, let me know and I'll post more instructions in a comment here. 

will anyone play???   please! 

-dawn

ps - I got this idea from a great man named jack green who used to run coffee house nights in all kinds of places and also he did this game in the history classes he taught where I attended high school.  he'd start with just a part of a story and then stop -- and point to someone else who was then responsible for picking up the story from where he left it off.  some amazing stories were created that way, to the delight of all.